Listening from the Heart is the art and skill can learn it as a way of life. Many people have difficulty really listen to others. They might hear the words but they are not really with the world of Ben interlocutors. They mostly, with only their personal needs. This difficulty is one of the key factors affecting especially the relationship between people in general, and people in close relationships, employee-employer relations, colleagues, neighbors, friends, family, parents - children and spouses.
We all need a full listening of the other. Listening to this gives us back ourselves with the other which shows us to ourselves. It gives us a feeling that we exist, we are meaningful and substantial. When others listen to us carefully and with the presence of one hundred percent full containment and responds with verbal responses, body language, facial expressions, tone is hip than us, our being our existence. In this way we relax, our sense of security than we can afford to be who we are as people of all Khalkhin whole.
Listening is important in all relationships between people but particularly close relationships between people and connections between marital partners. Listening is important because the reality offers fertile ground for us to express our differences as human beings, the perception of our world, customs, our values, our beliefs, our thoughts, our emotions, our desires, etc. painkiller can cause friction and even disputes.
We need Lhksbto shares of other current events of our life in general, to all variety of our experiences emotions, both positive and negative.
Routine can raise various conflicts in relationships raise difficult emotions and cause conflicts, situations of stress that we want to unload. We want someone to listen to us give place to the feelings of anger, frustration, pain, disappointment, hurt, humiliation and more.
These feelings are sometimes unpleasant, even intolerable and we will seek every possible way to get rid of them and one common and easiest ways but also has the most negative consequences of these feelings is to throw the other to throw at accusations and criticism. This way of reacting to offensive and painful to others as well is its own offense and defense arguments Christians fighting Hmsirim people injured, painful and lonely.
Open and frank conversation between people can resolve the conflict as long as listening to a real world of second.
Typically, normal conversation came to resolve conflict and tension between spouses (or the other) each self, pain, injury or frustration of himself and wants only to make his words. As a result, flooding emotions difficult to really hear and understand the other's world. Sometimes, break it according to it, interrupt each other, increasing the voice and sometimes, to the shouts. In this way not really hear each other and certainly no longer understand each other. Finally, can develop into a fight or an argument that ends, often, breaking contact, ramshackle murky relationship, an atmosphere of anger, stress and frustration, pain and loneliness Cshanein original, in fact, caused the debate has not yet been resolved even worsened due to the efficient conversation.
Everybody understands even hear things from the world of himself, so his perspective, each left end with his interpretation of a world apart due to the unique, the experiences of the past, habits, values, beliefs and feelings which struck a more appropriate and right. Instead of expressing the pain, injury and frustration in his world everyone wants to change the other depending on the needs of himself and subdue it. The conversation turns into a power struggle, a battlefield that ultimately may come out more wounded.
We should remember that since each of the spouses is a world apart, separate and different, no right and right, better or worse but simply different.
The reason ordinary conversation can become a fight is that when immigrants of different complaints anger towards each other, the couple are experiencing it as an attack as a threat to the 'I' and then crush their warning in the brain (the ancient primitive brain in charge of defense and security) harbinger of any danger, real or emotional , the self.
As a result, each spouse responds to reactive behavior, survival automatically to protect itself, generally or by way of attack or escape. Therefore, such a conversation can be seen frequently, accusations, criticism, judgmental, insults, crying, or withdrawal silence.
Imaging approach, developed by Dr. Harwil Hendrix, offers dialogue where there was a different kind of listening - listening to the heart with full presence of the soul in the world of spouse.
For such dialogue to spouses or people who are in their relationship came about anger, conflict, tension, stress, disappointments and frustrations, pain, difficulties and problems.
One way of contact even basic, according to the image, is listening to the bride based on dialogue Htkoonoti.
Dialogue that the listener is running out of energy and directs special Htkoonotiot real listening to what comes to mind while back mirroring other words until the full hearing of all things. His world for dialogue term side seemed to come with an empty tank.
According to Hedy Schleifer (primiparity therapists Imaging, developed and expanded access to new places and concepts), this is just a ceremony, where one leaves the world, through the imaginary bridge that in their relationship came to visit the other's world.
Therefore, dialogue should be conducted only between the couple, pleasant environment, without interruption of phone calls, radio or television, and choose a convenient timing of the couple to be able to evacuate process and appeal for that energy physically and emotionally.
The couple sit on chairs facing each other, close to their knees touching, always keep eye contact. Without eye contact there is no connection at all. Eyes often they get good and loving. Possible and desirable to hold hands. Such physical proximity just developing, moving ears, see things in subtle body language interior landscape begins to flow in the energy relations are good, warm and soft.
To this process could be important to have mutual willingness of the couple meet the other's world while leaving the world of himself for a time and move to the second world out of curiosity, open heart, wide and loving, seeing and knowing the wounded boy, his pain and its sources. How amazing to see all the time when space has been well maintained relationships, safe and contains how the couple discover the context of their childhood wounds of the past difficulties and conflicts in their relationship in the present immigrants.
Hhtkoonotiot contrast reaction, that means, be aware of rising sense of threat and feelings of primitive brain physiological Nilo sense of danger but not to operate automatically from this world but to concentrate and focus on the second part of the new brain behind the frontal lobe, hear and understand the other's words. It is important to emphasize that this understanding is not necessarily agreement and acceptance of things.
Such a dialogue that has mirrored the bride and understanding shows I - there is, you - there is, contact - exist. The presence of the spouse or other such dialogue constitutes acceptance confirmation of my existence and being as I am. Sense of security, existence value immigrants as the spouse can be present in the world of hot and full containment second. That is, if it is a hot tank for the spouse or short, "Michm" (= hot tank).
This experience increases my own sense of security and space relationship between the couple. Energy becomes hot and good in this situation conflicts dissolve.
You should see the invitation to visit your partner the most intimate inner world fell at a great privilege. This special privilege to be the sole and unique person selected to be invited to meet the world's second depths.
In addition, it is also an important opportunity to improve relations in depth at the same time to allow growth and personal growth of each spouse.
Martin Buber, too, (as raised by Hedy Schleifer) in his book "I - you" made the argument that the existence of a sad man as a subject is created within the dialogue - while discourse with others. Discourse with someone who is building the person as a person spiritually. No single person is a fundamental fact of human existence but a person in connection with others. The point is not physical existence but crystallization of individual consciousness in order to contact and dialogue with someone else. Plato also said that the soul itself to meet the need to meet another soul.
Through dialogue that the couple learn how to create a different kind of listening, listening that brings a complete understanding, which creates a sense of mutual confidence and empathy. Dialogue solvent so that the conflicts by helping the couple get to the wounded from their childhood and understand the patterns of their defense and dealing, which led to marriage and which make them the pain, conflict and fighting between them. Dialogue partners are experiencing exciting new experiences, including as a result, created an atmosphere Brown's new, caring approach.
This process of introspection, while the bride and the couple each other, accepting the other, attention control, the presence of certain childhood wounds connection is very important in healing process of the couple's mutual. Is slow and give him the time.
As noted, such a dialogue is different from ordinary conversation and is intended only for situations of tension and conflict there between the spouses. This is not a question and answer conversation. Listening to the heart requires training and learning on the one hand, how to open the door to your world frankly and openly share the depths of your soul mate on the other hand, learn to control the presence of the spouse without judging it by the subjective world of your glasses.
This dialogue initially seems an artificial and technical difficulty and those which at first. Some just listen and try to remember words instead of being present reality as a result, the words had come to. Ostensibly, it has something restrictive but that's exactly what allows the recipient of frustration and hearing the other one hundred percent.
This process seems to me like a river with water of life clear, clean, running furiously flooded powerfully. If the banks of the river will be high and strong enough to limit the flow of water directed them in the right direction is likely that all these good water instead help bring life, flood the houses vegetation, the grazing and other marine animals, destroy everything and drown everything in their environment. But if banks limit the water and allow them to flow in all directions but in a particular direction, can be used, for drinking, irrigation, cleaning, etc. - meaning - of life.
Finally, listening to the heart is a skill you can develop it. Although it begins as a fake, like everything else new, but when she develops introverted way of life skill of giving full attendance with the bride and security, the connection becomes close and intimate, soft deeper revealed an entire world.
